The View from the Fence

I didn't say everything. Some things are too heavy to put on the table.

Eclipse isn't just a horse I ride. He's the one place where I don't have to be a "project" or a "student." At the barn, I just am. If we lose that, I don't just lose a hobby; I lose my barn family and the version of me that feels confident.

It feels like my whole life is being downsized. That's Dad's word, one I heard through the wall, and now it's happening to me. I didn't even get a vote.

I'm starting to realize that Dad did a really good job of keeping his work stress away from us for a long time. Now that it's spilled over, it's scary to see him not have a plan.

God, are you still there? It feels like all the good things are being pulled away and I don't understand the "why" behind it. Please don't let us move. Please keep my barn family together. And help me not stay mad at Dad, I know he's hurting too, even when he tries to hide it.

Dad didn't give me a "fix-it" speech or tell me I was overreacting. He just sat in the dirt with me. I think that's why I actually believed him when he said he was sorry.